Blogs > Kid You Not

Kid You Not believes in the Wizard of Oz style of parenting: All you need is a brain, some courage and a heart. Oh, and some Jager.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Tears in Frostbite Falls

"And now, here’s something you’ll really like."
If those words trigger some deep, nostaligic memory of sitting on a yellow beanbag chair in a dark paneled den watching a big mahogany console TV, you’re like me. A flying squirrel would say those words, and then a talking dog, a boy and a time machine would appear. Or maybe a strange fairy tale or a Canadian mountie. Then you would be transported into an absurd, wonderful animated world.
All those memories came flooding back today when I read the New York Times obituary page. At the top was the obit for Joe Barbera of Hanna-Barbera fame, creators of the "Flintstones."
"Oh, that’s too bad," I thought.
Then I glanced at the bottom of the page at a smaller obit. "Chris Hayward, 81, TV writer." There was a photo of a cartoon moose and squirrel.
I put down the newspaper, looked up and suddenly I was a 10-year-old boy again. "Rocky and Bullwinkle" can do that to a guy. I’m not afraid to admit this: That show, which I haven’t seen in at least 25 years, helped make me who I am.
I never loved the "Flintstones" the way I loved "Rocky and Bullwinkle." The "Flintstones" animation was too primitive, too washed out. The plots too linear and simple. "Looney Tunes" from an earlier generation seemed more artistic and fearless. Mashing up Bugs Bunny and the Barber of Seville seemed like a logical thing to do.
"Rocky and Bullwinkle" was made on the cheap, but the writing was crazy and ironic, zooming around like comedic super ball. If anybody thinks "Family Guy’s" Brian was the first acerbic, brainy talking cartoon dog, just set the wayback machine and watch a few Mr. Peabody episodes.
Here’s how Wikipedia puts it: "Much of this success was a result of it being targeted towards both children and adults. The zany characters and absurd plots would draw in children, while the clever usage of puns and topical references appealed to the adult demographic. Furthermore, the strengths of the series helped it overcome the fact that it had choppy, limited animation; in fact, some critics described the series as a well-written radio program with pictures."
Maybe some of that stuff was over the head of a 10 year old, but it made made me think something was around the corner, just beyond my grasp. Now I know was it was: Monty Python, Annie Hall, Ren & Stimpy, Whit Stillman’s "Metropolitan" and Wes Anderson’s "Rushmore."
Thank you, Bullwinkle J. Moose, wherever you are.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Babble.com, I have come to praise you

Wow! Babble.com doesn’t suck.
When I first heard about this Web site for "the new urban parent," I figured it was another example of a disturbing trend: Your baby/child is a fashion accessory. "Cookie" magazine, events like Baby Disco and Ramones onesies send the message that you’ve had a baby, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop being an annoying hipster jerk.
Babble had all the earmarks — New York City-centric, snarky tone, interns sporting weird haircuts. It was also started by the people behind Nerve.com, the famous sex-focused Web site.
Here’s how the Babble bunch pitch themselves: "The subject of parenting needs a bold new voice because people lie about it so often. The topic is plagued by politically correct clichés and generic sentimentality. This is just what we said about sex nine years ago. Today there are more taboos and more social pressures around parenting than there are around sex. We will cover the most controversial topics in parenting via personal essays, our exhaustive info center, and witty, original columns like "Bad Parent" and "Notes from a Non-Breeder."
OK, here I am a few days since the launch and I’m hooked. Funny blogs, useful information and an overall impression that everyone involved actually enjoys having children. They could use some better copy editing (one blog’s title: "Taking your kids to see a killer whale mame someone isn’t as cheap as it used to be." Mame?)
I particularly enjoyed the blog from the husband-wife team that make up the band Mates of State, about what it’s like to take a 1-year-old on tour. Mates of State live right here in East Haven and they’re playing Toad’s Place Jan. 13. Bring the kids!
Just no Sex Pistols onesies, please.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

American Girl vs. Bratz


Hold on, isn’t it supposed to be Barbie vs. Bratz? Sorry to break it to you, but that fight was over a long time ago. Bratz b*#ch-slapped Barbie so badly that Mattel crawled back to its drawing boards and came up with Bratz clone Prostitute Barbie, better known as "Bling Bling Barbie."
Mattel proudly describes the doll like this: "The My Scene My Bling Bling dolls are all blinged out and ready to party! Each doll is dripping in faux diamonds and faux jewel-encrusted clothing from head to toe. Each doll comes with a hot outfit, a glamorous side fashion, and tons of bling-themed piece count like a fun purse, a cell phone, and make-up. Each doll comes with a totally sparkly bling ring for the girl!"
Hear me well, offspring: There will never be a "Bling Bling Barbie" in my house as long as I’m drawing breath.
The real battle for the hearts of elementary school girls is between American Girl and Bratz.
Let’s introduce the fighters:
- American Girl’s Kit. She grew up in the early years of the Great Depression in Cincinnati, Ohio. Her family struggled to adjust to the realities of the economy after Kit’s father lost his job.
- Bratz’ Tiana. With her fur coats, bra tops, miniskirts and snakeskin boots, she’s ready to get all up in Kit’s face and text message her friends so they can watch the beat down.
Kid You Not tries not to pass judgement on how parents raise their kids, except in this case. There’s so many things wrong with the Bratz doll: a loss of innocence, queen bee meanness, and most troubling, pre-teen sexuality encouraged and treated as normal. It’s a short trip from changing your Bratz’ miniskirt to having mom buying you your own.
American Girl’s wholesome, chaste values that emphasize courage, pluck and adventure are a much better message for a young girl.
Both doll companies are marketing behemoths, in their own way. Bratz owns Target, Wal-Mart and every other retailer. American Girl controls the mail-order, word-of-mouth selling strategy. Parents and children are being manipulated either way, so pick your poison.
Guess what’s under the Christmas tree in my house this year. Welcome to the family, Kit.
As for the fight, Kit kicked Tiana’s skinny behind. A steady diet of watered-down milk and paint chips gives a girl an edge.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Computer blue

There was a story in USA Today the other day about a fuction on the Wal-Mart Web site that allows kids to make their own Christmas lists with toys found, naturally, on the Wal-Mart Web site. A mother quoted in the story was ticked off because she felt Wal-Mart was manipulating her kid, who loved tabulating his list.
Her 4-year-old kid.
Wait a second. Should a 4 year old have unfettered access to a Web site? Can’t mom just turn off the computer and tell her kid to play with his Tinker Toys? (Tinker what?)
What I’m getting at is this whole online thing. It seems that many parents who would sooner remove their own fingernails than have their kid play unsupervised in the backyard have no problem letting a very unseemly and dangerous world have its own portal inside their own homes, perhaps in their childrens' bedrooms.
Linda Ellerbee, one of my favorite TV journalists (and one of the most underrated and honest) is tackling the issue this Sunday, Dec. 10, on the Nick News show on the Nickelodeon network.
"For a lot of kids, the virtual world is their playground, recreation center, arcade and mall. Going online isn’t somethings they do, it’s somewhere they are," Ellerbee says. "The goal of this show is not to scare kids offline or encourage parents to unplug computers, but to help kids better understand and use this evolving technology, and show them ways to protect themselves in the process."
Be sure to watch.
By they way, did you catch that Prince reference in the headline? I am so 1984.