War on flip flops!

My daughter’s elementary school is going where many schools fear to tread.

By "tread" I mean telling these uppity grade schoolers to put on sensible shoes and stop acting like little Real World contestants.

Once again, the school’s Friday newsletter is making more news than Iranian mullahs. Here’s the latest: "Wheely sneakers - These are quite cute for fun in the neighborhood, however, not appropriate for school as they can be dangerous for students and damaging to floors (we have many forms of the damage in the hallways and gym). Therefore, they are not allowed at school at any time (inside or playgrounds). Thanks for keeping out students and building safe!

Wait, there’s more.

"Flip flops and backless shoes - these too are great fashion attire items but are also not appropriate for wear in school. Students have been falling in the halls and classrooms and toes have been stepped on by peers. They are absolutely not allowed when participating in physical education classes or recess and we would greatly appreciate not wearing them to school during the day."

The school’s principal is my hero. She earlier told parents to stop letting their kids arrive toting fancy coffee drinks. Now she’s willing to tell these idiot parents who send their kids to school in wheelies and flip flops that a school is a serious place, not the beach. A few weeks back, when it was still very cold outside, I saw a girl on the playground wearing a short skirt, bare legs and flip flops. Her parents must have been tied up in the basement, because there’s no other way to explain such a complete abdication of parental responsibility.

I’m waiting for the protests to roll in, especially since so many female teachers were wearing flips flops the other day.