Oh, you little disk of tastebud temptation, I hear you whispering to me from the dark living room.
"That guy at work who ordered four boxes? Give him three. Take me from my cardboard case. Open me. I’m so new, so fresh, so virginal. Feel my sleek, cool surface. Yes, yes, give in. Surrender to me."
No one can resist Girl Scout cookies. Least of all me.
My 6-year-old Brownie daughter just sold the most cookies in her troup, so we’ve got a bunch of boxes stacked in the living room ready for delivery. If my wife and me don’t devour them like rabid wolverines (Wolverines!) first.
Girl Scout cookies have been part of all our lives for as long as we can remember, but I’m really learning about Girl Scout cookies for the first time.
Did you know Girl Scout cookies have a MySpace page with more than 200 friends? Look, there’s Trefoil partying without panties!
Did you know Ellen DeGeneres bought 1,000 boxes from an Ohio fourth grader this year? I know Ellen likes girls, but come on.
Did you know the Girl Scout cookie industry generates $700 million a year, with 200 million boxes sold annually? The big plot twist coming up on "24" has nothing to do with Russians or Arabs. Jack’s evil father actually controls a secret cartel of Girl Scout cookie sellers attempting to devalue the world’s currency and have the Keebler Elf take the fall for the nuclear explosion.
The least popular cookie? Trefoils (9 percent of sales).
The most popular, with 25 percent of sales?
Yes you, you little minty minx.