Friday Flash: It's over

The principal of my 6-year-old daughter’s school is being transferred to another school in town, which is like those ridiculous concert tours by Queen without Freddie Mercury or The Doors without Jim Morrison. In other words, it’s just not the same without the lead singer.

It’s probably not that big a deal. I’m sure the new principal will be just fine and won’t do anything goofy, like celebrate World Diversity Day and invite Yale’s Taliban Man to read to the kids.

The reason I’m ticked is I’m probably going to be losing great blog material. What, you think it’s easy coming up with awesome stuff week after week? All year long, all I had to do was wait for my daughter’s Friday Flash newsletter to arrive.

First there was the ban on fancy coffee drinks. It seemed some parents were letting their age 10 and under kids bring mochachinos to school. Then the ban on flip flops. Then the ban on wheelie sneakers. This principal, using the most pleasant language possible, was telling parents to stop being complete imbiciles and have some control over their offspring.

I’m convinced the principal is being transferred because of the newsletter. School superintendents are notoriously wimpy about controversy and the easiest thing to do is transfer someone.

So, in honor of the principal’s final weeks at my daughter’s school, here’s her latest Friday Flash bombshell:

"Please do not allow your children to bring DVD players on the bus. We have had some complaints lately that some students are watching movies on the way to and from school and it is beginning to become a distraction for others. Many thanks!"

Let me emphasize that no one at this school is over the age of 10. Are these kids such TV zombies that they can’t spend 15 minutes on a bus without having to watch "High School Musical" over and over? And wouldn’t mom and dad have to approve of little Brecklyn putting a DVD player in her backpack? Please, stop this insanity!

Somehow, I don’t think the new principal will be tacking these crucial issues. So Godspeed you, Madam Principal, to your new school, where a fresh batch of pretentious kids and idiotic parents awoke this morning unaware of the reckoning that awaits them.