According to the National Retail Foundation, $9.9 billion will be spent on Father’s Day gifts this year. That’s an average of $98 per person.
I don’t believe that for a second. I’m sure a few million here and there will be spent on ties and golf balls. But $9.9 billion? No way. Everyone knows men stop wanting things, especially clothes, after the age of 35. I mean, I have t-shirts older than the newspaper’s interns.
It’s almost comical looking at newspaper ads and circulars as Father’s Day approaches. It’s the only time of the year anyone will spend any money trying to sell stuff for guys. Why? Because, a key part of Father’s Day is being a father. Meaning, every cent is being spent on the kids, the bills, the cars or the house. So those Tods driving mocs just aren’t making the cut, no matter how supple the leather is.
Retail executives, in their desperation, have boiled the day down to what they think every dad wants. Here’s what Stereotypical Dad looks like, according to Target/Sears/Kohls/Old Navy:
- Cargo shorts
- Striped polo shirt
- Golf shoes
- Windbreaker
So, Happy Father’s Day to all my fellow dads, who don’t want anything but a hug from the kids, a couple of school project drawings and a day off from mowing the lawn.
Oh, and some Jager shots in Vegas.