Way back before we had kids, my wife and I used to go to adult movies. No, no, not those adult movies. Movies for grown-ups, like the time in 1997 we saw "Boogie Nights" and "L.A. Confidential" in the same week.
Now, a movie means $40 for a babysitter and $20 to hear people talk while you watch junk like "Dahliaflyboyhollywoodkingsmen." So we usually wait for the DVD or make a careful decision (Scorsese+Nicholson=me in a movie seat).
Since the kids arrived, most of our movie going involves animated fish, ogres and furry creatures. The arrival of a new fancy re-release of "The Little Mermaid" has us particularly excited. Our daughters have loved this movie since the day they first saw it and its wholesome, yearning for adventure message is fine by me. With one exception.
No one ever notices this, but Ariel is 15 when the movie starts and 16 when she marries Eric. Eric, living alone in a castle with servants, is most likely a decade older. No wonder King Triton goes bonkers when his teenage daughter heads to the surface. I know what he’s thinking: "Sixteen is too young to get married. This is my undersea kingdom, not Arkansas."
Which gets me thinking: Why are fathers in some Disney movies always clueless? They’re either full of rage (Triton), buffoons (Jasmine’s dad) or weaklings (Belle’s father). It’s a good thing, though, that Jasmine’s dad is an idiot because if he figured out what Alladin and Jasmine are really saying when they sing "A Whole New World" he’d grab Triton’s spear and give new meaning to the term "radical Muslim." Read the lyrics here and tell me its not about, shall we say, deflowering.