Hold on, isn’t it supposed to be Barbie vs. Bratz? Sorry to break it to you, but that fight was over a long time ago. Bratz b*#ch-slapped Barbie so badly that Mattel crawled back to its drawing boards and came up with Bratz clone Prostitute Barbie, better known as "Bling Bling Barbie."
Mattel proudly describes the doll like this: "The My Scene My Bling Bling dolls are all blinged out and ready to party! Each doll is dripping in faux diamonds and faux jewel-encrusted clothing from head to toe. Each doll comes with a hot outfit, a glamorous side fashion, and tons of bling-themed piece count like a fun purse, a cell phone, and make-up. Each doll comes with a totally sparkly bling ring for the girl!"
Hear me well, offspring: There will never be a "Bling Bling Barbie" in my house as long as I’m drawing breath.
The real battle for the hearts of elementary school girls is between American Girl and Bratz.
Let’s introduce the fighters:
- American Girl’s Kit. She grew up in the early years of the Great Depression in Cincinnati, Ohio. Her family struggled to adjust to the realities of the economy after Kit’s father lost his job.
- Bratz’ Tiana. With her fur coats, bra tops, miniskirts and snakeskin boots, she’s ready to get all up in Kit’s face and text message her friends so they can watch the beat down.
Kid You Not tries not to pass judgement on how parents raise their kids, except in this case. There’s so many things wrong with the Bratz doll: a loss of innocence, queen bee meanness, and most troubling, pre-teen sexuality encouraged and treated as normal. It’s a short trip from changing your Bratz’ miniskirt to having mom buying you your own.
American Girl’s wholesome, chaste values that emphasize courage, pluck and adventure are a much better message for a young girl.
Both doll companies are marketing behemoths, in their own way. Bratz owns Target, Wal-Mart and every other retailer. American Girl controls the mail-order, word-of-mouth selling strategy. Parents and children are being manipulated either way, so pick your poison.
Guess what’s under the Christmas tree in my house this year. Welcome to the family, Kit.
As for the fight, Kit kicked Tiana’s skinny behind. A steady diet of watered-down milk and paint chips gives a girl an edge.