Just to show I’m not some crazed food police guy — all my anti-McDonalds posts notwithstanding — here’s some praise for Denny’s for changing its kids’ menu.
The company has added “Better For You” choices for kids including vanilla yogurt with strawberry topping, “High Diving Veggies” (carrots, celery and cucumber), Apple Dunkers, Jell-O ®, “Spaghetti, Set, Go!” (spaghetti with marinara sauce), and pudding.
More significant is what Denny’s eliminated from the menu: Big Dipper French-Toastix™ (French toast sticks), hot dogs and “D-Fusion™” sugar beverage packets.
Yeah, yeah, I know McDonalds has apple slices in Happy Meals, but that’s just to get the food police off its back. Do you think they would ever eliminate French fries from Happy Meals? Sure, the same time when Ronald McDonald serves lunch at a PETA meeting.

It’s importance rivals Christmas or your birthday. The anticipation is unbearable. The kids ask every day: “Is it here yet?”
Yes, it’s the class list — a fat little packet of information that will guide your child’s social and academic life for the next nine months. Which friends are in the class? What school supplies are required? Which teacher will spend more time with your child than you?
Ours just arrived and the news is good.
One daughter is entering fourth grade. Last year, her best friend was not in her class. She wept on her bed. This year, they are together. Shouts of joy.
The other daughter is entering kindergarten. The names on the list are unfamiliar, but these are the future friends for possibly the next 12 years and beyond. She also was assigned her big sister’s kindergarten teacher, a beloved figure in our house.
More good news: The school nurse has all but banned Crocs and flip-flops again this year. This women is a hero.
As for the school supply list, has anyone ever heard of “Chair Sox”? Neither had I, but it was on the list. It’s four tennis balls sliced so they fit over the bottom of each chair leg. Why I have to buy these is beyond me. I don’t mind the pencils, Sharpies, glue, folders and binders. I figure I’m providing a well-behaved child who can read, use the bathroom and isn’t wearing a Juicy Couture mini-skirt. Can’t someone else get the Chair Sox?

Let’s see, you’ve got kids having a good time. Nothing wrong with that.
It’s a nice day. That’s great.
Everybody’s smiling. Cool.
Oh, wait. Now I see it. I think that’s Ronald McDonald leading a kids’ exercise class at a summer camp in West Haven. Which is like having Jon and Kate teach a class on getting along with your spouse.
Kid You Not has criticized McDonald’s for years for sending Ronald McDonald to libraries, schools and now summer camps to teach kids about stranger danger, reading, and of all things, fitness. Of course, McDonald’s doesn’t really care if kids read or lose weight. All it cares about is kids buying more french fries, soda and burgers.
Fast food is the worst thing you can give your kid. Many parents are now aware of this and are making an effort to have their kids eat more healthful foods. So having Ronald McDonald show up at your kid’s school or camp and undercut that effort is infuriating.
This camp had so many better options. Have a local karate or gymnast school do a fitness performance. But when the Connecticut and Western Massachusetts McDonald’s Owner/Operator Association with support from the Connecticut Library Consortium offers a free visit from Ronald McDonald, it’s an easy choice for a camp director.
The only place at a summer camp where Ronald McDonald should be is the outhouse.

Kid You Not rarely delves into politics, except for using exceptional diplomatic skills when one daughter ends up with slightly more ice cream and the other daughter starts acting like an insulted North Korean dictator.
But this health care town hall screamfest stuff is getting too crazy. Consider Chuck Norris’ column this week on “Obamacare.” Yes, the Chuck Norris. As in “Walker, Texas Ranger.” As in “The Octagon,” a totally awesome movie.
He writes: “Dirty secret No. 1 in Obamacare is about the government’s (sic) coming into homes and usurping parental rights over child care and delelopment.” He’s citing the House bill’s section on “home visitation programs for families with young children and families expecting children.” Then he starts down the path to loopy land: “Are we to assume the state’s mediators would understand every parent’s social or religious core values on parenting? Or would they teach some secular-progressive and religiously neutered version of parental values and wisdom? And if they were to consult and coach those who expect babies, would they ever decide circumstances to be not beneficial for the children and encourage abortions?”
Then I realized what he was railing about. Programs like Connecticut’s Birth To Three, which sends nurses and other experts to help new parents with issues like recognizing developmental delays in infants. Birth to Three and programs like it get some federal funding. It’s taxpayer money well spent. I know, because my wife and I qualified for Birth to Three benefits after our daughter was born premature nine years ago. The Birth To Three nurse came to our house, observed our daughter and talked to us about what to watch out for.
For Chuck Norris to imply that this is the same as “government agents” telling me how to raise my children is downright idiotic or an intentional attempt to whip up anti-goverment sentiment — which leads directly to what is happening at these town hall meetings. I understand the angry right hates Obama as much as the angry left hated George Bush, but crucial efforts like health care reform is not the same as starting a war.
The debate doesn’t need Chuck Norris’ bizarre rantings. I will now enjoy the scene in “Enter the Dragon” where Bruce Lee kicks Chuck Norris’ ass even more.

Two of Kid You Not’s favorite things have been put together: IKEA’s EXPEDIT bookcase and helping underpriviledged kids learn.
For every EXPEDIT sold until Aug. 31st, IKEA will donate $5 to Save the Children’s Early Steps to School Success program.
There’s few things more useful in a house with kids than an EXPEDIT (IKEA’s got some sort of capital letters fetish). My family uses ours as a vertical toy box in the kids’ playroom. It keeps stuff off the floor, and if you use the plastic bins, you can store a shockingly large amount of stuff. In one bin, my daughters have stashed enough Barbies to populate a small city.
As for Save the Children, there are few organizations more dedicated to helping at-risk kids. When a natural disaster strikes halfway around the globe, the Westport-based agency is in the first wave of aid groups. Early Steps to School Success gives children in poor, rural areas access to quality early learning from birth to age 5. The program assists children with early language development, social and emotional development and equips parents with the skills and knowledge to support their child’s growth.
So go down to the big blue building here in New Haven and buy an EXPEDIT. And get yourself a $1 yogurt for being a nice person.

There’s been a lot of disturbing news lately: Big Papi, two long weeks until Mad Men starts, a tornado in Shelton. Nothing, however, compares to this: Snuggies for kids.
Here’s the press release: “Toys“R”Us stores are excited to embrace Snuggie for Kids as the newest addition to its family-friendly assortment of products. Over the past year, The Blanket with Sleeves™ has become a pop culture phenomenon and warmed its way into the hearts and vocabularies of Americans, 4 million of whom have gotten cozy on their couches with Snuggie. Now, the kid-sized version is conveniently available at Toys“R”Us stores nationwide.”
This is a sure sign of the apocalypse. Hey kids! Put your Snuggies on, the world is ending!